News-type stuff:
The other local paper, the Gazette (do they still call it The Cedar Rapids Gazette in Cedar Rapids?) also wants to do a story about Diana. The reporter hasn't actually talked to me yet, but I heard that she called Carl. They said they wanted it to run "before the Memorial," so I guess that means Friday or Saturday. I'll dump it here when it runs.
The principal of Elizabeth Tate High School, the successor to CEC, left a message on our voicemail today. They want to name a scholarship after her (calling it, appropriately enough, the Diana Paulina Memorial Scholarship). She's asking for my okay, so I'll be sure to give that to her tomorrow.
Memorial stuff:
My family ROCKS! I've got a tree for Saturday (along with a really nice rock), and my sisters (it almost feels like that should be a capital 'S') tell me that my other responsibility is to have an extension cord ready to go in the garage. Seth is picking up a quarter-barrel, and I'll probably add a case of wine. (Do I still get the tables?) They're all consulting with Dede and Nancy, so I'm just trying to stay out of the way.
Please don't try to park anywhere in the driveway on Saturday -- there's parking on the Dubuque Road, which leads up to ACT's parking lot. We'll have the lane open for deliveries and handicapped access, but if you can carpool, that's probably a good idea.
We'll be around all day Saturday. The place will probably be presentable by 1, and the Planting of The Tree will be right around 3. Anyone who wants to hang out for the potluck wake afterwards is welcome to do so.
Me stuff:
Life here is still weird, but going on. I'm still making mental notes of stuff to tell dp, but I don't seem to be wracked with depression or anything.
Bob asked if I was going to keep blogging. After the dust has settled, I don't know. I'm not sure that my life sans dp and life-threatening illnesses is really going to be enough to keep folks coming back. What would you folks want to do here?
The photo is a panorama off the back deck, after Clan Crawley was through mulching it.
9 comments:
Kevin:
I can't wait to see the view off the back deck this weekend because the plants and flowers there really are a tribute to dp! Mulch is easy, instant gratification as Ann says.
As to blogging... Joan Didion wrote an entire book about the loss of her partner, The Year of Magical Thinking, I think. I think more of how do I preserve the blog so I can refer back to the really great stuff, dp's 3/24 comments, ect. Anyway, no need to decide now.
love,
else
Year of Magical Thining is the best book on loss and grieving that I have ever read. Hers was the sudden death of a spouse, but in comparing to my loss of a father, gradually, I found all kinds of resonances and reassurances.
I also read Tuesdays with Morrie, which I thought was facile and tidy. My dad's death was messy and filled with emotional land-mines and Morrie made me feel somehow inadequate.
Not so Didion, whom I have always dearly loved. Hers is a raw, honest, brave dispatch from the edge. It took me three months to build the courage to pick it up and about a two days to devour it.
My own blogging slowed down some when dp stopped being able to respond. I like the feedback and dialogue. I wonder about bringing sCenario to a conclusion, since it centers around a specific sort of journey, and looking at something new, perhaps with multiple authors or something. I would probably not have started my own blog if I could have uploaded pictures here.
Something to ponder for the future.
For my part, my inner dp has prompted me to change jobs, accepting a big raise and LESS STRESS. Diana died on Monday, I interviewed on Wednesday and had a new job two days ago!
I have had very interesting and mercurial career with this agency, which lasted 13 years. It really felt like it was time to step off the bus, as it were.
I'll be working for NCCC/Americore, which is a residential-based service program for 18-24 year olds. They do a lot of disaster response work, and conservation projects. I'll be the counselor. The first year they will focus on Iowa and then will work as needed around the country. My job will be to screen, advise, maintain mental health of members who need it, consult on group dynamics within teams. I'll occasionally need to travel to other sites in Maryland, Sacramento, Colorado . . . and to headquarters in D.C. No supervision. No budget. Very little documentation. Big raise.
Well, gee. How do you decide?
It's a Fed job; I take an oath. We'll see how that goes.
We don't ever arrive, really, do we? We step through a series of doors, each passage leading to another door, another room. When we least expect it, we must choose again. Randomness negates the predicted result of any choice. Chaos provides the "ricochet" that betrays linear consequence.
Sometimes someone very dear to us steps through a door, and closes it.
My late friend Su Williams' phone machine said "Leave a message. It's a beautiful day!"
I proofed this, too! "Thining?" THINKING!!!!
I'm regretful that I won't be on hand this weekend to hug and be with you all, and chortle at all the stories of Diana that I know will come up.
I certainly hope that some of them will be shared here as well as in person. I know that the blog has been a great source for me to see my own versions of Diana reflected in everyone else's, and I greatly enjoy seeing those reflections.
Lily
OW! That was a good wake. Ow.
i am still going to be checking the blog, maybe just to catch up with/touch base with the rest of everyfolks who come here and who were at da woods on saturday. laughing and crying together we celebrated our friend, sister, wife, lover, daughter and surrogate mother. as i said at the tree, i'm not ready to say goodbye or let go. and i don't have to if i don't want to. so there. A. Noni Mouse/Faery Dogmother/Cinda Shaffer
i wanted to apologize to the niece (lauren? hannah? oh, there's a pun; we and k and dp have another friend, who was there yesterday, named lauren hanna!) for apparently channeling diana a bit too closely for your comfort. i heard i gave you what in my girlhood we would have called the "creepy crawlies". oh, there's another pun~i'm still channeling her i guess (:) however~ i would not intentionally have you uncomfortable about me for a moment. the hair is my own (long, gray), inspired by diana; the dress was mine (long purple); the jacket was diana's (blue jean). in the past year, about a half dozen or so people have asked if diana and i were sisters. in our hearts and minds, quite so. please be at ease with me as you were with her. A. Noni (Cinda)
The celebration was exactly what dp would have wanted. Thanks to all who helped and attended. What a great family! I am honored to be a part of this community.
P.S. I am back in New Mexico.
Nancy,
It wouldn't have been the same without you, in many ways...like there wouldn't have been tequilla, like perhaps the tables wouldn't have been set up, like the clean up wouldn't have been as thorough...and the circle of love that surrounded Diana's life would not have been complete. Katie
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