...rarely fit everyone in the same way. A few daze ago, Leroy's blog dealt with the new labels that we have with regard to these aberrant cancer cells: survivor, victim, patient, got-what-she-deserved, fighter, guinea pig... His question: Can we ever be 'normal' again??
What follows is my response to his post:
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Labels, just like most things, have their good points as well as their bad. We tend to agree with those who define labels similarly to the way we do. Some labels serve me better in some places, other labels serve me better at other times. Labels often provide quick and efficient ways to classify...
"Normal" for my caregiver and myself has _never_ been a static thing. As we've grown and evolved, so has our sense and define of normal. Each new job/career, each geographic move, each new relationship, each lifestyle change brought with it a new define of normalcy.
How far would I have to go back, and would I ever find that yearned for state of 'normal?' I think not. Before the cancer-change for me was the Big Change: menopause. I consider that I had a 'normal' menopausal journey, but do I want to return to being in full blown menopause again? No thank you!
During that time, I was also providing full-time care to our then 80 year old parents. Over the course of the past ten years, up until today, "normal" for us was/is in constant flux. That's why I've posted so often that we make plans so we'll have something to do in case there's no emergency.
I'm similarly adapting to the normalcy of the recent change prompted by some cancer cells. *shrugs* Am I wanting to return to another me, a previous me? Nope. I'm wanting to carry the knowledge and normalcy I acquired there forward into the new learnings and normalcy of today's tomorrows.
So, we consider us all to be normal people coping with cancer cells. If there's anything abnormal about us, it's the cells. *shrugs* I agree with Vicky in referring to this as "dis-ease" and we're learning to ameliorate it.
Some days we play the cancer card; some days we keep it in our pocket. With time, it's gotten around that we have the card to play, so I don't see where I have the right to take umbrage at that, or any label we wear, whether it be a designer label or one just off the rack.
For me, the bigger question is, "Just what the heck is 'normal,' anyway?
And surviving? We're all surviving more than just cancer! *shudders at the thought of what else is out there*
Here's wishing us well! Stay hydrated!!
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...today's new label is: Booster Treatments. The technician asked today what they had decided would be my course of Booster Treatments. We were told our _last_ treatment would be next Wednesday. hrmmmm.... We have a pretty good guess...In the meantime we meet with Dr. C tomorrow morning following our radiotherapy treatment and the blood draws. We're also planning to request a full set of our medical records as long as we have an hour or so in-between. Anything you'd like us to ask or have copies of??
We hope that no one's posting here the past few daze means that you're all off living and loving full lives of your own. *crosses fingers* Do take time to share when you find the time.
Meantime, hug your loved ones and be well!!
*raises a tall glass of iced water*
5 comments:
You know, I started to post on my blog (mis-typed "blot", interesting. . .) and decided not to, but read yours and had to respond. I really love what you said.
Labels are funny. Having a potentially fatal illness makes some of your observations particularly poignant. On the other hand, each of us is terminal and none of us know when the cosmic piano will fall from the sky and smash us unawares.
I'll submit that it might be more about "roles" than about labels. We assume roles depending on our assumptions about ourselves, others, and the situation at hand. We make rules about these roles. Some are good, some not so good.
There is a rule that a patient doesn't know more than a doctor, or a nurse, either, for that matter. I think we know what we think of this rule.
People make assumptions about how we will behave; they even have expectations, but expectations are not rules.
One of the things I enjoy about you, K & D, is that you are cantankerous about "rules." Please continue to be this way. We all enjoy it, and it's good for you.
I think it's safe to say that we all check in with you most days. We comment sometimes (I comment much of the time, as usual) and some of us only check in and nod, or smile, or worry. We are here. We are always here. We think about you when we are driving places, when there are pauses in meetings, when there is a spectacular sunset, when we think of a bad joke or pun. You are with us, and we are with you.
And you can take that to the bank, get out one of their label-makers, and assign yourself a category.
We love you S.
Ah, Cranium Man, you do have a way with words! While I cannot presume to speak for others, I can say that here you have spoken for me. And for the record, I check in on Spiritual Laundromat almost as often as I check in here, so keep posting!
...from roles to rules: what a difference "u" make(s)!
FWIW, I like my rolls with cinnamon, raisins and nuts...or just with butter.
I like my roles, better than my labels; thanks for that reminder. ...and, I like my roles with nuts and a little spice, too.
Today we had to re-evaluate some rules. ...rules I like better without nuts *shrugs*
The two of you bring new depths to the word family; thank you for being a part of ours. And, thanks for being a part of our mutual-admiration-blogiety!
*blots out*
And I have to "third" what cranium man and nancyturtle have said...the two of you are often in my thoughts and I find myself checking here most days to see if there's anything new to read. You'd be amazed if you knew how many times I talk about you, or quote you, for that matter. Your presences are much felt by many of us, I'm sure. And from the bottom of my heart, thanks for being who you are...with all your rules, roles and labels.
~Oregon Connie
T-shirt see today on a student at a coffee house in town:
INSIDE JOKE #300
We do
not label!
I think she was a drama major from the bits of conversation I overheard.
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